I have this very horny, yet sweet and gullible friend. Let’s call her Lollita. She was just a friend so I had never slept with her, but I knew of her sexual history.
One day she excitedly informed me that she set up a dentist’s appointment with this really handsome fellow she wanted to date. “I thought it would be a great place to, you know, chat and ask him out!” My eyes lit up at this excellent opportunity. “Oh, no! Lollita, you didn’t really, did you?”
“….Why not?”
I informed her, completely straight faced, that every time you give a blow job there is a colored film that stains teeth. Over time this build-up can become pronounced. Most people are not able to tell, but a dentist would be able to not just see that you like to suck, but just how many men she had pleasured. The concerned look on her face was utterly satisfying as she pondered the dozens of men she had been with.
Fast forward a week after her appointment when I bumped into her at the local store. I asked her how her appointment went, and she immediately looked down in embarrassment. Apparently, when she got there, she was so incredibly nervous that he would see her teeth that she wouldn’t open her mouth. After a few minutes of the dentist trying to convince her, she reluctantly opened her mouth. With two of his fingers feeling her gums, she panicked and clamped down as hard as she could. Needless to say, he was unhappy about this development. When she regained her composure and asked him out, he laughed in her face and exclaimed, “are you kidding me?” and walked out of the room.
The poor dentist, I probably ended up costing him the appointments for the day. Not to mention Lollita might have missed a chance of a lifetime.
Today, I fucked up… by convincing my friend that dentists could see semen stains on her teeth.
